Self-confidence: how to give it wings?

Self-confidence: how to give it wings?

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Strongly linked to self-esteem and self-esteem, this ability to believe in one's skills, which is vital to moving forward, allows your child to face and cross the different stages of life. For that, he needs you!

Why is it so important for your child to trust him?

Because a child reassured about his abilities is able to overcome his fears and failures and wants to progress! This feeling of confidence - the psys talk about internal security - settles in the early years. Your role, then, is to help him find the resources in him to lay the foundation for this feeling, which is essential for his balance and well-being. It's up to you to be positive and reassuring while knowing how to set the right limits!

Trust in him: words that do good

  • Your child will also draw his assurance in your soothing words. This will allow him to feel understood by you in difficult times.
  • Do not forget : there are words that do good, others that hurt! Banish the mockery and avoid the irony ... Especially in public! A child understands it badly. And then, he will not take risks if he fears to be ridiculous!

You can do it !

  • "Surely you can do this on your own, I trust you." Of course, it's not a question of allowing him to all the experiments he wants on the pretext that one learns by doing. Simply reassuring your child at every age on what he has the right or the opportunity to do allows him to avoid fears ... that could also cut his wings! On the other hand, too much protection may prevent him from evaluating what he is capable of. The essential is therefore a subtle balance between protection and encouragement. Between what you can ask him without being too much or too little demanding. If you brake him permanently, he will think that the world is too dangerous for him to risk it. Do you believe in him? Which sentences to proscribe? "You're going to fall!" Or "You'll never get there": because if you're so convinced, it's sure he'll miss it!
  • Do not forget : he fails despite your encouragement? Help him to accept his failure. We can not succeed every time!

Give him confidence in the eyes of others

  • Growing up, the circle of relationships expands. At the day care center, at the nursery school, at the park or at school, your child will learn to integrate into a group and to face the eyes of others, witnesses of his successes, but also of his failures. Avoid as much as possible, except in case of danger. You show him that he can manage without you. He refuses to join the group despite your encouragement? No it's not a savage! Until his second year, and sometimes more, he appreciates the company of others, has fun with an adult playing with him, but he does not participate in group games with those of his age. Be vigilant anyway. If he seems to be afraid of other children, is very withdrawn, or has an aggressive attitude repeatedly, do not let the situation settle down. Talk to people who know him well. If they tell you that your child seems to be suffering, it is better to consult a psychologist.
  • Do not forget : especially do not force it. Give him the freedom to move at his own pace. He has the right to prefer the calm of the exchanges in small committee to the agitation of the life of group!

The essential, to show you positive

  • "Bravo!", "You're a real acrobat!", "I love your drawing!" Are you usually stingy with compliments? Now that you're a parent, you'll have to get started. Because if you told your child he's a champion, then he'll do anything to prove you right! No you do not risk giving him a big head. He offers you, proud as a peacock, your portrait, an amazing scribble in green felt? Stop laughing! On the contrary, congratulate him! Then give him, with fingering, some tracks to progress. And what if he was now doing his dad's portrait in several colors?
  • Do not forget : the bottom line is that in one register or another, your child will show initiative and autonomy. Praise him for what he does well, while encouraging him for the rest. The idea is to be constructive!

Confidence in yourself: set the example!

Even if it is not inscribed in our genes, self-confidence is transmitted. The one you give to your child depends a lot on the value your parents have given you. If you trust yourself, expect others to respect you, your child will benefit from an example to follow. On the other hand, the lack of esteem and love of oneself can also pass from generation to generation!

Do not forget : Do you feel that you tend to self-deprecate? Better to be aware of it and, if necessary, talk to a specialist (psychologist, psychotherapist ...) to prevent the infernal cycle from happening again. Because you - and your child - are worth it!

Isabelle Gravillon


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