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Of course, your toddler feels things ... Exactly. Since your decision is made, it is important for him to clearly explain the situation and to reassure him as much as possible about his near future.
Living a breakup if you have a toddler reinforces your dismay. It never seems like a good time to announce the separation. It is a hardship for him as for you, but it is also and especially in these moments that it must be reassured on your love of parents. A short summary to help you.
How does he live the separation?
- What worries most a child of 3-4 years is not the concrete separation of his parentsbut all open conflicts in his presence. They are often triggers for eating disorders, sleep or behavior.
- At this age, a child begins to experience feelings of guilt. He can even go so far as to think that he has made a mistake ... and that is the cause of your separation.
- Your toddler may also be afraid of being away from the parent leaving the marital home.
- From the age of 3, boys and girls begin to define their identity and their sexual role. This implies a very strong love for the opposite sex parent. If he is a boy, around age 4, he begins to compete with his father and become possessive with his mother. He may even believe that he has won the "fight" against his father.
When should you tell him?
- In general, parents are tempted to talk a little too early about their child's future separation : when they made the decision not to sleep in the same bed or to live together anymore. However, it is useless to approach the subject if you have not planned - for material reasons for example - to live separately for several months.
- Married parents often stop sharing the same place of life before the divorce is decided. Tip: Do not discuss the subject with your child until the judgment has actually been delivered.